A Shift

I was reading over some of my past posts and I noticed an underlying tone of frustration or even anger. I wasn't consciously aware of that when I wrote them, but I've had little shift over the last couple of days that allowed me to see it that way.

And I started to ask myself why I was so mad. And the thoughts that came up were like "I feel like I have been tricked" or "I feel like I've been lied to" or "I feel like I didn't before have the benefit of all of the knowledge I now have, so my decisions were not informed and I may have made other choices".

And when I posed a question to an unschooling group, I found another new perspective (or one that I understood but forgot). I had asked what the group thought of joining an organization to fight for change in our public school system. I was still feeling that though I had experienced what I would call a breakthrough in understanding, not everyone else had, and I felt it was somehow my responsibility to move them toward it (kicking and screaming, perhaps?) so they wouldn't feel tricked as well.

One member said "I began to realize that "fighting against" or "fighting for" are the same thing for me...and within each is a the notion of resistance and repelling energies. I noticed that when I thought of having to figure out how to "save" someone or something or some idea the energy of saving felt heavy...but the idea of sharing felt much lighter and better to me."

This statement and my watching a movie ("Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium" - I'm not kidding, you have to see this movie) have gotten me back on track. I will enjoy the journey, and when I can share, I will, passionately and, hopefully, convincingly, as I still remember that it took only a page full of words on the web to open my mind to the possibilities as though a great flashlight had been shined on my truth.